Critical Food Sovereignty in Venezuela

Brenda Noemi Laguarta

ISFD N° 41

Teacher: Stella Maris Saubidet Oyhamburu

Language and Written Expression IV

Critical Food Sovereignty in Venezuela

It cannot be denied that government policy regarding food distribution in Venezuela is nowadays generating great controversy. Although the government has included Food Sovereignty in national laws, Food Shortage seems to have no solution for the time being. This is the reason why national authorities decided to ration the amount of food that each person is allowed to buy, since there are not enough supplies for the whole population. All this has a negative impact on common citizens, who day after day have to manage to cover their basic needs.

“At 09:00 outside a downtown supermarket in Maracaibo, Venezuela, the temperatures are already stiflingly hot - close to 40C (104F) in the shade, if you can find any shade”. (Butler, 2013)

Long queues at the entrance of every single supermarket, empty shelves, and lack of essential food supplies are only vague attempts to describe what food-shortages really imply for Venezuelan people. An international journalist travelled to the country and reports his findings as follows (Antolínez, 2014):

In one Bicentenario branch in the Plaza Venezuela people were practically rioting to get chicken, a staple product that has become scarce (...). It is normal in Caracas to have to visit several stores to obtain basic foods. All shoppers are familiar with buying what you find, not what you want. Some housewives are visibly pleased when they find a container of milk, after three or four hours searching.

He also summarizes the critical situation of the country pointing out that ‘the shortage index has reached 28 percent’, which means that 28 of every 100 products such as chicken, milk, sugar, corn or wheat flour, butter and meat cannot be found in the shelves. And the panorama turns even worse when we take into account low wages. CENDA, a Caracas-based research institute, reports that ‘each Venezuelan now needs four minimum wages  to meet basic expenses for food, clothing, and health care’ (Cohen, 2014). "Right now I have to go to five or six supermarkets to buy everything I need," says Gerardo Araujo, an accountant. "Every day my salary is worth less and I lose my capacity to buy goods," he says, blaming the government's inefficiency for the current economic situation (Caselli, 2013). Taking into account the gloomy and undeniable present state of things in Venezuela, an obvious question arises: How can this be happening if Food Sovereignty is now part of the National Constitution and laws of the country?

“Venezuela Is Struggling With A Historic Food Shortage” (De Abreu, 2013)

When approached from a superficial perspective, Food Shortages and Food Sovereignty are simply a contradiction in terms, one not being related to the other in any respect. However, a deeper consideration of these issues in addition to an analysis of the historical background reveals the beginning of the conflict. Heidi Chow, a campaign officer at World Development Movement -an international organization fighting for economic justice and the end to global poverty-, declares (Chow, 2012):

As Venezuela struck oil in the 1920s, it became easier and cheaper to use oil money to import foodstuffs and so many small farmers lost their livelihoods and poured into the capital in search of work. Years of agricultural neglect followed leaving Venezuela dangerously reliant on multinationals for their food supply and distribution.

This led Hugo Chavez to include in 2008 the radical concept of Food Sovereignty into the country’s new constitution. The term was coined by La Via Campesina, a movement of peasants, at the World Food Summit in 1996, and it makes reference to ‘the right of peoples to healthy and culturally appropriate food, and their right to define their own food and agriculture systems’. Although this concept places people’s needs for food at the centre of policies, Venezuela is obviously facing serious difficulties in its application. This is due to the fact that the implementation of this new system required a reduction of imported products with the objective of promoting the growth of local economy. However, since the country economy was mainly based on oil exportation, there was a very limited number of local companies concerned with the production of food. All this provoked the existing food shortage that daily affects more than 30.400.000 people around the country.

The overall picture seems to be that Food Sovereignty can certainly affect a country in a positive way when applied after devoting careful consideration to it. It is definitely not easy to implement, but it is not at all impossible. However, when such a radical change is applied in order to change the economy of a whole country, as is the case of Venezuela, and the government decides not to consider the possible negative consequences for the people, millions of people undergo great suffering.

Works Cited

Antolínez, D. (2014) Hunger for Breakfast? Venezuela Facing Chronic Food shortages. International Herald Tribune. Retrieved on October 30, 2014 from http://www.iht.com/2014/03/10/hunger-for-breakfast-venezuela-facing-chronic-food-shortages/

Butler, E. (2013) Could Smuggling Be to Blame for Venezuela's Food Shortages? BBC News Latin American & Caribbean. Retrieved on October 30, 2014 from http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-23885377

Caselli, I. (2013) How food shortages are dividing Venezuela. BBC News Latin American & Caribbean. Retrieved on October 30, 2014 from http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-22526622

Chow, H. (2012) Food sovereignty in Venezuela. World Development Movement. Retrieved on October 30, 2014 from http://www.wdm.org.uk/food-sovereignty/food-sovereignty-venezuela

Cohen, B. (2014) Hugo Chavez, One Year On. Commentary. Retrieved on October 30, 2014 from http://www.commentarymagazine.com/topic/nicolas-maduro/

De Abreu, L. (2013) Venezuela Is Struggling With A Historic Food Shortage. Business Insider. Retrieved on October 30, 2014 from http://www.businessinsider.com/venezuela-food-shortage-2013-1

La Via Campesina (2006) What is Food Sovereignty? USFSA. Retrieved on October 30, 2014 from http://usfoodsovereigntyalliance.org/what-is-food-sovereignty/

A Youth Multicultural Orchestra that Opens Debate

Brenda Noemi Laguarta

ISFD N° 41

Teacher: Stella Maris Saubidet Oyhamburu

Language and Written Expression IV

                             A Youth Multicultural Orchestra that Opens Debate

In 1999, the West-Eastern Divan orchestra was created, assembling young musicians from Spanish, Jewish, Israeli, Palestinian, and other Arab backgrounds. One of its founders, the Argentine-Israeli pianist and conductor Daniel Barenboim, conceptualized this orchestra as a ‘utopian republic’ based on music. (Barenboim, 2006, lecture 4) He expressed that in music, one had to be aware not only of oneself but also of ‘the other’, and in this sense music is not ‘an expression of what life is, but an expression of what life could be, or what it could become’. Although this project with the aim of coexistence was intended as a one-time event, it quickly evolved into a legendary orchestra. However, the idea of a musician’s being part of the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra gives rise to a great deal of debate, generating opposing claims regarding the impact on the socio-political field, the emotional sphere, and the construction of an individual identity.

‘My orchestra is a political laboratory’ (Barenboim, 2014), said the conductor to “The Telegraph” in an attempt to explain how the work of this multicultural group has a profound effect on society and politics. It cannot be denied that Barenboim’s ideas involve some disadvantages on this field, like being accused of ‘normalization and looking over obvious problems’, just as Mina Zikri, an Egyptian member of the orchestra, states it (Zikri, 2014). A further drawback to it, is people hatred, as Barenboim points out when he says that ‘many people absolutely hate [them] in the various countries where [his] players come from’, since ‘they think [they] are traitors to [their] own people’ (Zikri, 2014). Nevertheless, one argument in favour of the existence of this orchestra is that it imparts an encouraging message, showing that the Arab countries will not arrive to a solution through military means, but through dialogue and mutual understanding. In addition to this, Edward Said sustains that since they are not politicians,’ what [they] are really interested in is the power of music and discussion and culture to create a sense of equality and fellowship otherwise unavailable in the anguish and tension of polarized life in the Middle East’ (Said and Barsamian, 2003, p. 34). Clearly, the orchestra causes an impact on the socio-political field, but it also influences other areas.

Turning to the effect that being part of the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra origins in each individual, it can be said that there is proof that it generates mixed emotions. On the one hand, even some musicians acknowledge that meeting people who come from ‘parallel dimensions’ (Chaker, 2014) is emotionally and personally challenging, due to their ‘pre-conceived ideas’. This generates ‘some fighting and struggling’ (Kertsman, 2014) in the first place. But, on the other hand, being part of this orchestra means being immersed in a situation of ‘debate, dialogue and co-existence’. (Chaker, 2014) This means that there is a space for everyone to express his point of view, while the other people listen, show understanding and ‘learn to see other sides’ (Kertsman, 2014). And the greatest advantage is that, given these conditions, the members of this program can establish relationships of friendship with people who they would not even talk to. So, association with people from different cultures has a great influence on a person’s feelings.

And finally, there are also divergent opinions concerning the construction of an individual identity. Some critics advocate, that being part of the orchestra is negative because they believe that ‘one has to give up what he is and his beliefs in order to accept the other’ (Chaker, 2014). However, Solveig Riiser in his article titled “National Identity and the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra” sustains that ‘the creation of a common identity and common social values occurs because a negotiation takes place. Hence music can have a formative role in identity creation while at the same time embodying prior identities in its production.’ Consequently, being part of this project contributes to the construction of each musician’s personal identity through the expression of their own subjectivity, always respecting the other’s narrative.

Taking everything into account, it can be concluded that the idea of participating in a multicultural project like the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra, needs careful consideration, since there are opposing views in this regard. Although some people argue that the experience can have a negative impact on the socio-political field, the emotional sphere, and the construction of an identity, there are those who believe the opposite. These consider that, on the contrary, being part of the orchestra has a positive effect, spreading a message of mutual respect, stimulating dialogue and co-existence and contributing to the consolidation of a personal identity. Seen from this perspective it may be concluded that the many advantages of this decision outweigh the negative aspects of it.

Works Cited

Barenboim, D. (2006) Meeting in Music. BBC Radio Reith Lectures. Lecture 4. Retrieved on September 28, 2014 from http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/reith2006/lectures.html.

Chaker, L. (2014) Musicians Spotlights. WQXR Radio Interviews. Interview 1. Retrieved on         September 28, 2014 from http://www.west-eastern-divan.org/news/musician-spotlights-wqxr-radio-interviews/

Hewett, I. (2014) Daniel Barenboim: My orchestra is a political laboratory. The Telegraph. Retrieved on September 29, 2014 from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/proms/11043891/Daniel-Barenboim-My-orchestra-is-a-political-laboratory.html

Kertsman, B. (2014) Musicians Spotlights. WQXR Radio Interviews. Interview 2. Retrieved on September 28, 2014 from http://www.west-eastern-divan.org/news/musician-spotlights-wqxr-radio-interviews/

Riiser, S. (2010) National Identity and the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra. Music and Arts in Action, Volume 2, Issue 2. Retrieved on September 28, 2014 from https://ore.exeter.ac.uk/repository/bitstream/handle/10036/3947/riiser_2010.pdf?sequence=1

Said, E. W. Barsamian, D. (2003) Culture and resistance. Oslo: Oktober.

Zikri, M. (2014) Musicians Spotlights. WQXR Radio Interviews. Interview 3. Retrieved on September 28, 2014 from http://www.west-eastern-divan.org/news/musician-spotlights-wqxr-radio-interviews/

Flouting Grice's Maxims

Metacognitive Analysis
            When we were first told that we were supposed to prepare an oral assignment in groups tackling the topic on Skills it seemed to me really challenging. Some feeling of anxiety aroused in me, especially because I knew that it would imply a lot of conscientious reading, presenting the information in an interactive class and coordinating the work as a group.After having read all the information provided and becoming very familiar with this material, I wanted to apply what I had learnt in class about summarizing. That is why I started to select the most important information, and I divided the chapters into different sections or sub-topics. Then I started to establish various connections within the two chapters and designed a list of topics and sub-topics writing the number of page and paragraph in which each of them were discussed. All this required a great amount of time throughout some days; however, I considered that doing this was not enough, and I felt the need to go deeper in my investigation on the topic. This finally led me to resort to other works written by the authors mentioned in the assigned bibliography.

Once the information was clear in my mind I faced the second difficulty: how to present all the material in a precise, simple and attractive way. Consequently, I started to think about what the intended audience might already know about the topic, and I drafted different introductions. And that was how I came with the idea of using videos related to the topic. And finally all that was left was to get together with my classmates, share ideas and organize the presentation; although I must say that we should have tried to meet some time before.

However, after having devoted so much time reading, doing additional research, establishing comparisons, preparing, organizing and looking for ideas, when the moment came to present all that I had prepared, I totally failed. I was very disappointed, but I was proud of my group mates because they could perform really well.

Looking at all this process in retrospective, I think that I could actually profit a lot from this assignment because the degree of challenge was the appropriate one. I consider that I got so embedded in the material that my learning was truly meaningful. I also benefited from the other groups presentations since they made us actively participate in their presentations. In conclusion, I think that this type of activities are very useful, and I wish I can perform better next time.

Speaking in the Light of Writing

Speaking in the light of writing from Gus Tavo

Comfort Women

Comfort Women: Physical, Psychological and Social Consequences

“Comfort Women” is a phrase created to designate women who were forced by Japanese soldiers to be sexual slaves during the Second World War. Between 100,000 and 200,000 Asian women whose age ranged from 11 to 27 were coerced or kidnapped. All of them had to endure multiple rapes on an everyday basis, and will difficultly recover from the terrible consequences of their mournful past. However, obtaining the legal reparations, the public judgement of those responsible and the official apology they are demanding, can help them to cope with the physical, psychological and social consequences they are facing nowadays.

It is absolutely imperative that the so called ‘Comfort Women’ get the legal reparations they are demanding, so that they can cope with the severe physical damage they experience, and which is often visible in different ways. For example, this damage can be observed in the various illnesses, infections and disorders that these women got, such as cancer, venereal diseases, tumours, sterility, insomnia to name but a few. And sometimes physical damage can be perceived with one’s own eyes as it is presented in the form of permanent scars, dislocated members or lost of the sense of hearing or sight. The money obtained from the reparations can truly help Comfort Women to manage these physical consequences. First, it is necessary for paying the medical treatment for their diseases, which is often very expensive. And second, it is necessary for paying the medication required for their condition, which is also costly. Definitely, legal reparations will be of benefit for the victims of sexual slavery who are undergoing serious physical consequences.

The judgement of those responsible of the crimes against Comfort Women can also help the victims who suffer, even today, of psychological damage. A judgement would help them in the sense that they would have the assurance that they were not forgotten before the law and they would see that justice can prevail in their favour. It would also help to dissipate these women’s fears and apprehensions, since they will have the guarantee that the men responsible of their suffering can do no more harm, and it would set a precedent so that sexual crimes can be severely punished in the future. Besides, knowing that those guilty of such an aberrant crime were trialled, would help the women coping with feelings of anger, resentment or self-contempt, appeasing their thirst for vengeance and giving them peace of mind. Taking all this into account, it can be therefore said that a criminal judgement can nowadays contribute to the managing of the victims’ psychological trauma.

Obtaining an official apology is vital for those women still dealing with the consequences of living in an unfriendly society. This public acknowledgement would help, for instance, Kang Duk-Gyung, who was rejected by her own mother, by showing that ostracism should not even be mentioned in society. Or it would give an answer to Wan Ai Hua, who could never return to her homeland because her acquaintances were ashamed of her, by lessening the hostile attitude of the whole community. Or an official apology would help Ahn Jeom-Soom, who to this day was unable to marry, by eradicating people’s prejudice. Undoubtedly, a public apology would be of benefit for the women still facing consequences linked to living in a hostile society.

After having analyzed all these points, it can be seen that although nothing can totally solve the physical, psychological or social consequences that Comfort Women have to face today, and although nothing will make them forget their sad memories, there is something that can be done to improve their present situation. So, taking into account all the time that these women have lost waiting for an answer, they should be promptly granted what they are asking for: monetary reparations, a trial and an official pardon, which, as have been previously discussed could help them manage the effects of a mournful past.

What is "Academic" Writing?

Student: Brenda Laguarta

Professor: Stella Saubidet

Subjecte: Language & Written Expression IV

Institute: ISFD N° 41

What Is “Academic” Writing? - Summary

L. Lennie Irvin begins his work What Is “Academic” Writing? acknowledging that writing usually generates a feeling of nervousness and worry among new college students. This is why he devotes the first chapter of his work to describe what academic writing implies and he also discusses the secret for a student’s success.

After claiming that the way in which the task is portrayed in the student’s mind is closely related to success in academic writing, the author presents common beliefs about writing, and explains why they are based on incorrect information:

Myth #1: The “Paint by Numbers” myth: Instead of being a closed process of fixed stages, writing involves a series of events that can be repeated several times.

Myth #2: Writers only start writing when they have everything figured out: It is when the writer engages in the process of writing when he deciphers most of what he wants to put on paper.

Myth #3: Perfect first drafts: It is important to accept that a first draft will not lack faults and weaknesses, since a lot of revision is needed.

Myth #4: Some got it; I don’t – the genius fallacy: Progress can in fact be attained if the writing ability is trained; it is not something uncontrollable.

Myth #5: Good grammar is good writing: Causing on the targeted audience the effect the writer expected, is more important than grammatical accuracy.

 Myth #6: The Five Paragraph Essay: According to this format an essay has got an introduction, three supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each writer should analyse the writing assignment and judge if this format is pertinent or not.

Myth # 7: Never use “I”: This word should not always remain unused for the purposes of objectivity, because this could create a feeling of unnaturalness. A writer can use “I” and, at the same time, follow a semi-formal style.

The Academic Writing Situation

Writing can be difficult to deal with since the writer has to create a context for an audience from which he is detached in time and place. So, to convey tone, he has to select his words carefully and determine punctuation. In addition to this, Academic Writing involves identifying the audience, context, message and purpose of the writing, as well as the genre that is going to be used.

Lennie Irvin, citing from a professor at Pepperdine University, calls writing assignments ‘literacy tasks’, because they require mastery of certain thinking skills:

·         Knowledge of Research Skills: This implies searching for information using reliable sources.

·         The Ability to Read Complex Texts: It involves thinking critically, and being able to deduce and make inferences when reading.

·         The Understanding of Key Disciplinary Concepts: It means not only identifying central concepts, but also including them in the writing.

·         Strategies for Synthesizing, Analyzing, and Responding Critically to New Information: Having all the information needed at his disposal, the writer has to divide it, classify it, and establish connections among the different pieces.

‘Literacy tasks’ also have to present an argument. Just as a lawyer does, the writer has to clearly present his viewpoint and provide the audience with convincing evidence that supports his argument, and thus earn the audience consideration. That is why good organization and strong evidence are essential.

Three Common Types of College Writing Assignments

The Closed Writing Assignment: the writer is given two opposing claims, he selects one and supports it.

The Semi-Open Writing Assignment: the writer is given a limited area of investigation, and he is required to determine his own claim and sustain his argument.

The Open Writing Assignment: the writer is expected to determine the topic and establish his own thesis. A vast comprehension on the subject is important in order to make a good choice of the writing topic, and limit it to a size the writer can manage.

The format of the Academic/Critical Essay

1.      Well supported argument.

2.      The argument should have different possible interpretations.

3.      Clear organization: introduction, body, conclusion.

4.      Ample support from different sources. No statement without support.

5.      Documented sources.

6.      Ideas properly linked.

7.      MLA or APA format.

8.      Grammatical correctness.

Conclusion

The author finishes claiming that the key to success in fully accomplishing writing tasks relies on the writer’s interpretation of it, and his way of dealing with the task. He puts it this way: “(...) having the right orientation toward your college writing assignments is a first and important step in your eventual success.”.

Works Cited

Irvin, L. L. (2010) What is “Academic” Writing? Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing, 1, 3-17

Paragraphs by listing and comparison

Ulises Misa & Brenda Laguarta

Professor: Stella Maris Saubidet Oyhamburu

Language and Written Expression IV

Institute: ISFD N° 41

Causes of Students’ Failure:

Preliminary Writing:

• A negative view of learning / negative attitude towards studying
• Lack of confidence / thinking they are not capable of improving
• Bad study habits / bad organization (of time)
• Procrastination
• Not supporting family - Irresponsible parents -  negative study environment

Version handed-in:
(Phrases underlined or in bold are the ones that needed to be revised)

Causes of Students’ Failure

One of the things that nowadays is worrying teachers and parents the most is students’ failure at school. Students’ inability to meet the academic standards required can be related to four different factors. First, a negative attitude towards studying can be really damaging since it prevents students from making a thorough effort when learning, which is correlated with good academic performance. Second, lack of confidence in oneself is detrimental, because on the one hand, students eventually conclude that they are not capable of improving, and also their abilities and talents remain hidden. Third, bad organization also prejudices students’ performance generating bad study habits and the feeling that there is never enough time for accomplishing tasks. Fourth, procrastination is a tough, harmful habit to break since students keep putting off tasks without realizing that it only promotes high levels of stress and a poor academic achievement. Since the four factors previously mentioned directly lead students to failure, they should be treated by parents, teachers and counsellors so as to foster students’ success at school.

Corrected version:

Something that could help parents, teachers and counsellors who want to know how to foster students’ success at school, is to identify the most common factors that can lead a learner to failure. To begin with, a negative attitude towards learning can be really damaging since it prevents the student from making a thorough effort when learning, which is correlated with good academic performance. Apart from that, the inability to meet the academic standards required can be related to the student’s lack of confidence in his own abilities, which results in the erroneous conclusion that he is not capable of improving. In addition to this, bad organization can be detrimental to a learner’s academic performance, generating bad study habits and the feeling that there is never enough time for accomplishing tasks. Closely related to this, procrastination appears as a tough, harmful habit to break because students frequently tend to postpone tasks without realizing that it only promotes high levels of stress and poor academic achievement. Therefore, being aware of the factors previously mentioned, and how they impact on the learning process of students, can be of benefit not only for the learner’s family, but also for the Educational Institutions responsible of promoting students’ achievement at school.

Working Women

Preliminary Writing 

Working women in the past and in the present. Similarities:

• They showed that they could do the same type of work usually assigned to men: For eg. women during the 1st World War worked in the factories because men were in battle. Nowadays, some women also work in areas typical of men (construction workers, pilots, etc…)
• Having to spend a lot of time away from home: leave their children at home/school; even little kids.
• Being the head of the family.
• Facing criticism.
• In the meantime, the Industrial Revolution was birthed and women began to be needed to fill unskilled worker roles in factories and mills.
• During World War I, and later WWII, scores of women filled the vacancies left by their brothers, husbands, and sons, doing everything from driving cabs and pumping gas to manufacturing and even designing war planes.

First draft

Humanity has evolved in a male-centered society. However, this attitude which considered women fit for certain jobs and not for others, has suffered different transformations throughout the last century. The traditional roles of men and women were established to ensure the power of the head of household. In that way, we have been socialized to expect men to be brave, industrious and domineering, whereas women have been expected to be submissive, timid and nurturing. Thus, females were dependent on men financially and lost their financial support as a consequence of separation, divorce, death or their partner's loss of employment. Moreover, women's status in each culture varies in different ways. In some societies, women's status improved gradually, while in other, it declined or remained unchanged. Nevertheless, as the natural form of society progressed, women strived toward a higher degree of independence in their life. Nowadays, we can generally say that women's place and function have been expanded from what they traditionally were in the past. Women do not have to rely on their husbands anymore to provide an economic backup for the home, although we cannot affirm that gender inequality has been completely held back.

Second Draft

Over the last decades, women have made notable changes in their labor force activities.. However, besides significant differences between the working women of the last centuries and the place that women take today in the worksphere, there are certain areas possible to be compared. Our past working women generations have showed that they could do similar type of work that the ones usually assigned to men. During World War I, and later WWII, uncountable women filled the vacancies left by their brothers, husbands, and sons, doing everything from driving cabs and mills to manufacturing and even designing war plans. Thus, those women who were then responsible for backing up the needs of their homes, while their relatives went to fight in war, they have become all of the sudden the main head of the family spending many hours away from home. Nowadays, it is more evidently that women are not only the bread winners of a considerable number of households, but also have achieved a greater progression towards total gender equality. Moreover, some women also take part in jobs that are typical of men such as factories, constructions or even pilots. Lilttle by little women around the world have probed to be reliable and determine for a branch of different activities despite their gender role. Unarguably, women have invariably been and will be an essential part in our lives and in the economy and status of different cultures.

Version handed- in:

Working Women

Although significant differences there exist between the working women during the 20th century and working women today, there are certain possible areas of comparison. Working women generations over the past century have showed that they were perfectly able to do the same type of work usually assigned to men, like driving cabs, working in mills, and even designing war plans. Thus, those women who were then responsible for backing up the needs of the family, while their relatives were fighting at war, had to become all of a sudden the main head of the family. This implied that women, spent many hours away from home. Also nowadays, women are disposed to work long hours, even when it implies being away from home and their children for a long time. In addition, it is becoming evident that more and more women are today the bread winners of a considerable number of households. Moreover, some of them also take part in jobs that are typical of men such as pilots, factory workers, or even construction workers. Unarguably, although the place women occupy in the working sphere today is different from that in the 20th century, there are still some similarities as regards the sacrifices women are willing to make in order to sustain the economy of the family.

Corrected version:

Working Women

            Despite notorious differences between the initiation of women in the work domain during the 1900s and the role they currently play in our society, important features of both could still be compared considering the type of work in which they take part. Working women generations over the past century have showed that they were perfectly able to do the same type of work usually assigned to men, like driving cabs, working in mills, and even designing war plans. Thus, those women who were then responsible for sustaining the needs of the family, while their relatives were fighting at war, had to become all of a sudden thehead of the family. This implied that women, spent many hours away from home. Also nowadays, women are disposed to work long hours, even when it implies being away from home and their children for a long time. In addition, it is becoming evident that more and more women are today the bread winners of a considerable number of households. Moreover, some of them also take part in jobs that are typical of men such as pilots, factory workers, or even construction workers. Unarguably, although the place women occupy in the working sphere today is different from that in the 20th century, there are still some similarities as regards the works required to be done by them in order to maintain the family economy in general.

Metacognitive Analysis:

Although writing a paragraph may seem a simple task, it is definitely not so. It required me to take an even deeper look to the written and aural theory. However, even after having done this, we failed in accomplishing the task successfully.

Personally, I could profit a lot from the feedback provided by the teacher, because it helped me to notice the mistakes committed. To start with, using a Topic Introducer was not exactly the best idea, since the topic was quite simple and could have been stated in one single sentence. Closely related to this is the fact that the Conclusion Sentence did not match the Topic Sentence, because I clearly misunderstood the idea of restating the topic but adding something more so as to keep the audience thinking. Also, regarding the choice of linkers, I could have been more creative instead of simply resorting to the so-commonly-used First, Second and Third. And finally, the writing should have been checked the writing again in order to detect any type of informal language, like phrasal verbs.

Bearing in mind all the mistakes, I had to revise the theory one more time so as to write the paragraph again trying to reach the standard required. And this task has been of particular interest to me because it gave me the opportunity to put the theory into practice, and even having failed, it has helped me to notice my weaknesses so that I can, hopefully, make better next time.